Before the Love Sickness Fever Breaks

I just finished a murder mystery novel this morning, and it got me thinking about the times in my life I was dumped by someone who I still loved. I might have known that continuing with the relationship was not good for my well-being, particularly if I knew there was no mutuality of feelings. But, alas, the worst breaks ups, even if you are the one that does the breaking up, are those in which you still love the person you are ending things with.

The worst break up I experienced was after I ended a very short lived engagement with someone who was really not good for me, but whom I desperately loved. It took me 2 years--that's right 2 years--to get to a point of normalcy. Before that, every day was measured by how many minutes I could simply forget about the pain. I loved that period in the morning when I first woke up and didn't quite remember that I was still longing for a someone who was gone, and should be gone. If I could experience long periods of time where I was utterly engrossed in my work, or a conversation with a friend, or a movie, I would become even more morose when that spell was broken and the crushing reality of abandonment rushed in.

Unrequited love is truly maddening state of existence. I am not sure that many of our thoughts and actions make any sense to others when we are working through those periods in our life. Our friends grow tired of listening to our woe, to the insane replaying of what went wrong over and over again. We know we've strained them, and yet, against all decorum we beg them to indulge us more.

I also remember, distinctly, when my love fever finally broke. I woke up one morning, drenched in sweat, and heard a bird chirping outside my window. I didn't feel that familiar ache in my gut anymore. It was now a dull memory. It was something that I can still access if I drink too much wine or read some really depressing poetry. But, it's not acute.

What are some of your stories of love sickness, unrequited love madness, and the things you did during those states of existence that you regret? We all have such stories, don't we?