Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Put Away the Prozac . . .

How To Good-bye Your Depression If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday: Marlarkey? or Effective Way?

Now for some reader reviews from Amazon:

Hilarious!! Buy it now!!, April 21, 2001
Reviewer:Brian Williamson "euglena" (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews
I've only had this book for a day or so, and I haven't even thought about reading it from start to finish, but it is pretty gosh darn funny. At the end of the book, the author (Niroyuki Nishigaki) thanks everyone for "finishing reading what I have written in bad English." Bad English indeed! I'll share one of my favorite lines with you and if you think it's funny, I suggest you purchase this book.

"Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."

That line doesn't make any sense, but it's pretty great. Sometimes I like to open the book up to random pages and read passages for a good laugh. Enjoy!

Constrict Your Anus 2 - "Electric Boogaloo", March 27, 2006
Reviewer:basspeeps "basspeeps" (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews
I can't wait until the sequel to this book comes out - "squeeze your nipples 423 times a day to relieve headaches". Until that time, I must be content with this modern-day Godsend. Originally I have heard that this book was a cast-aside chapter of the New Testament. Apparently, some idiot thought that this wouldn't be prudent as Bible-material. Well, it sure is prudent to me. I've been teaching my dog to obey this book as well. In fact, I'm working on a technique to teach dogs how to constrict their anuses at your command. So useful, really. This book is wonderful. Praise the mighty anus, master of all that is anti-depressent, helpful, brown, and a little stinky.

Hat Tip: Masale Wallah